How to Have Confidence in A Relationship
Can you learn to love yourself while in a relationship? It depends on your confidence and self-esteem. Not knowing or loving yourself makes it near impossible to love someone else. Love should be a two-way street. It is important that you are mentally sound and confident in yourself before entering a commitment. Your self-esteem should not be boosted because you have a man.
If you depend on your partner for your confidence, it can leave you vulnerable, and not in a good way. What happens if you break up or he withdraws that support? Being secure about yourself means that you are not bringing unnecessary luggage into a new commitment. Also, if the relationship does not survive, you are not losing anything. It is better to be mentally and emotionally secure before entering a relationship. Here are four tips to help you love yourself better before entering a relationship.
Don’t Be Too Vulnerable.
Being vulnerable in a relationship can be a good thing. The vulnerability allows you to let your guard down and bring you and your man closer. This also builds trust because you would not be vulnerable to just anyone. However, when you depend on your mate for confidence, it can have a negative impact on you and the relationship.
What if you change your hair and he doesn’t notice? This can make you unsure of yourself. You might think, “Maybe I don’t look as good as I thought I did”. In turn, this can cause a rift between you two because he did not acknowledge you. Your self-esteem should be well established before being in a relationship.
It’s important to know that even when you have high self-esteem, it is very possible to still doubt yourself. However, when your self-esteem is built on a sound foundation, those thoughts of doubt will subside much quicker compared to the latter. When you depend on your mate to be your hype man, and he doesn’t show up for work, it can make you doubt the relationship and yourself entirely.
What’s the Source of Your Confidence?
In a healthy relationship, your man is supposed to uplift you and give you encouragement. This can contribute to your self-esteem which is okay because you are already confident in yourself. The confidence that your man gives you should be the accessory to your self-esteem. You by yourself should feel fully confident in you.
A man can withdraw himself for several reasons. If he is not giving you that dose of confidence, are you going to go through withdrawal? Also, there’s a difference between being confident and conceited. Be comfortable about who you are and still be able to take constructive criticism.
If a man sees that you are doing something that is going to have a negative impact on yourself, him, or the relationship, he is going to express those concerns in a healthy manner. Trust yourself and know who you are and what you want. If a man is not a good fit for you, you will know when to walk away and not hold on just to say that you have someone.
When the relationship ends, does your self-esteem goes with it?
A breakup can be rough on anyone. However, it is extremely hard on someone who has low self-esteem. Some women will be down in the dumps and as soon as a man give them a little attention, they feel a burst of exhilaration and confidence. This is detrimental to your self-esteem and mental health.
A woman like this believes that they need a man to make them whole. I believe that everyone wants someone to love but when you have everything riding on having a mate, you are setting yourself up for failure. Let’s say he breaks up with you. He is not only terminating the relationship but also taking a piece of you with him.
Now you are questioning everything. Was I not pretty enough? Was I not satisfying him? Am I a terrible cook? Was I not supportive? All these doubts begin to flood your mind because you were not sure of yourself. He has taken a piece of you, and he probably does not know that he has it.
You should be able to go through a breakup and learn from it rather than blame and doubt yourself. Some breakups are hard to deal with. Nevertheless, you should still be able to recover without looking for the next man to help fill a void.
When you are dating and trying to find Mr. Right, know what you want and what you are willing to give. Set expectations for yourself and the relationship. Doing this prevents you from accepting anything shy of your wants and needs. The norms of relationships have changed, and women will find themselves accepting anything just so they can say they are not single. Know yourself and know what you want. Be confident in yourself. A man knows when a woman’s self-esteem is dwindling or when it is sound. Being confident in yourself will determine how you live your life, so choose and love yourself unconditionally.