100 Funny Mom Quotes

1. I brought you into this world and I can take you out.

2. You are my business.

3. Who do you think you talking to?

4.I am not one of your little friends.

5.I said what I said.

6. Where are you going?

7. Be home before the streetlights come on.

8. When I see you, I’m whooping you’re a**.

9. Don’t you hear me talking to you?

10. I’m not taking you to the hospital.

11. You’re still going to school tomorrow.

Always Communicate With Your Child

12. Do you have McDonald’s money?

13. Don’t pick my baby up.

14. When we go into the store, don’t ask for nothing and don’t touch nothing.

15. If you were asleep, you wouldn’t know you was hungry.

16.If you are thirsty, swallow your spit.

17.I don’t have any money.

18.If you come home with an a** whooping, I’m beating you’re a**.

19.I told you to stop. That’s what you get.

20.Did you clean up your room?

21.Did you take the food out the freezer?

22.I will always be there for you.

23.Act like you got some sense.

24.Wait until your daddy get home.

25.Get out my kitchen.

26.Stop running in and out my house.

27.Stay in or out. You let all the air out.

28.What are you doing in there?

29.Why are you so quiet?

30.Go get my purse.

31.You better go eat some noodles.

32.All that food in there, you better find you something.

33.Why you so hardheaded?

34.You better fix your face before I fix it for you.

35.What did I just say?

36.Didn’t you just eat?

37. Take your little brother/sister with you.

38.Come get your stuff before I throw it away.

39.Tell your friends to stop calling my house so late.

40.You don’t pay no bills in this house.

41.Food on the table and clothes on your back is the gift.

42. Speak into the mic.

43. You don’t have any friends.

44. I’m your only friend.

45. I can’t wait to get you home.

46. Stop crying. (after they gave you a** whooping of your life)

47. Stop making all that noise.

48. Read out loud when you go to school.

49. If you don’t eat what I cook, you must not be hungry.

50. If you washed up, how come I still smell you?

Be Patient

51. These are my kids.

52. If you don’t go to sleep, I am going to come in there and give you some help.

53. You bet not be eating in your room.

54. Where’s your report card? (holding a belt)

55. Why did your teacher call me? (holding a belt)

56. Go get the belt.

57. You bet not be in that refrigerator.

58. You don’t need an allowance.

59. Do you ever think about me?

60. When you start paying one of these bills, then we can talk.

61. That’s not a real problem. (then proceed to tell a story from their childhood)

62. I didn’t have all of this when I was growing up.

63. Because I said so.

64. You should be grateful.

65. You don’t need nothing for Christmas.

66. What’s wrong with the shoes I just bought you? (last year)

67. If everyone else jump off a bridge, are you going to do it too?

68. Don’t look at the stars because one will fall in your eye.

69. You will be alright.

70. You are smelling yourself.

71. Just because you are growing hair doesn’t mean you’re grown.

72. Just because you have your period, doesn’t mean you’re grown.

73. I’m the parent. You are the kid.

74. Stay in a kid’s place.

75. Stay out of grown folks’ business.

76. Was I talking to you?

77. Yeah? (You better add a ma’am to your answer)

78. If I tell you one more time, I am going to knock the sh*t out of you.

Always Let Your Child Know That They Are Loved and Important

79. You better figure it out.

80. Make it work.

81. Go ask your daddy.

82. I don’t have no money. (then proceed to buy stuff with money)

83. I can’t wait until you are grown.

84. I raised my kids.

85. You not too grown for an a** whooping.

86. It ’s time for you to start taking care of me.

87. You not too sick to play.

88. You better calm down.

89. Stop crying and tell me what’s wrong now.

90. You can go and stay with your granny.

91. Don’t leave this table to you finished all your food.

92. Don’t play in your good shoes.

93. Go brush your teeth again.

94. Did you even wash your face?

95. Go put some lotion on.

96. Don’t get over here and start acting up.

97. When I say it’s time to go, it’s time to go.

98. Don’t touch nothing because I can’t afford to fix it.

99. You don’t need nothing.

100. I will always love you no matter what.