How to Get Out a Bad Relationship with Kids
Divorces, separations, and breakups are treacherous uncharted territory that becomes more difficult when there are kids involved. Learning how to get out of a bad relationship with kids can be difficult, especially if the decision wasn’t mutual. Although you cannot predict every situation during this time, here are three tips you should take when getting out of a bad relationship with kids.
This post is about how to get out of a bad relationship with kids.
Prepare Your Kids for the Break
The first thing, probably the most important thing, is to make sure that your children are prepared for the split. There is no way to make this completely easy for them. They will have questions which is to be expected. Try to answer all their questions with honesty but at the same time not revealing too much information that will make them worry. Make sure that they understand that the split or divorce has nothing to do with them.
Even if your spouse has been the complete worse, do not speak negatively about them to or around the kids. Their world as they know it is falling apart and they are going to want someone to blame. Do not cause additional trauma by shaming their father. If your children are having issues adjusting, try taking them to a family therapist who specializes in these types of situations. Making a new norm will be a task within itself. Give yourself and your children the time you need to heal and adjust to your new way of living.
Things will be difficult at first especially if the breakup was difficult. Once the dust settles, try to plan days and activities were both you and your children’s father is present. When doing this, it’s important to let the children know that there is no reconciliation in progress. Instead, tell them that you acknowledge how difficult this major life event has been and you and your divorcé would like to make things as seamless as possible for them. Make sure that your children know that they matter. They need love and assurance. It is both you and your child’s father’s responsibility to ensure that your children are close as possible or happier prior to the breakup.
Be Financially Stable
Leaving a relationship or marriage isn’t just emotionally and mentally costly, it can be financially crippling as well. If your husband has been the bread winner all this time, this can put you in a difficult spot, especially if you do not have any education or professional experience. In most cases you can see that a breakup or divorce is imminent. A relationship does not turn bad overnight. There are signs and warnings before it happens. During this time, it is important to financially prepare for the split. It is imperative to save every penny that you can.
If you do not have access to the finances, find a job that will work around your children. There are numerous employers who offer work at home positions. If working a normal 9-5 is not up for discussion, think about starting a company of your own. Creating your own platform and building your following is an excellent source of income by doing brand deals and endorsements. Creating a blog is also an excellent source of income. Whichever route you choose, it is important to get started right away.
Using social media as a form of income takes time to see a profit. If you are already financially stable, make sure that you stay that way. Depending on your situation, child support and alimony could be paid to you. However, that should not be your main source of income. What happens if your partner refuses to or can’t pay? Being financially independent means that you can care for you and your children without any assistance. Not having to beg or ask your divorcé for anything is one less factor you have to worry about.
During this difficult time, it is essential to have a sound support system. Breakups are tough. Divorces are almost unbearable. You must take care of yourself to take care of your children. You are going to be tested mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Having your family and friends there to support you will make things easier. Continue to have girls’ night and having get togethers. Don’t shun the ones closest to you. It is alright to have a break occasionally but the easiest way to get through trauma is having a strong trusting support system and keeping your mind occupied. If the split wasn’t mutual, you would probably prefer to curl up on the couch reminiscing and looking at old photos and that’s okay. Don’t stay there though. Learn the lessons that was meant to be taught from the breakup.
Sometimes we like to stay in a and relationship because we are afraid to be alone or afraid of the uncertainty. Let yourself truly heal before you even think about entering another relationship. If you do not have friends and family, make some. There are plenty of social media groups that you can join that can help you get through this difficult time. The most important thing is to find yourself. During a relationship or marriage, you can lose yourself. Use this time to rediscover who you are. Become the best mother and woman you can be. Love yourself. Trust yourself.It is difficult when you don’t know how to get out a bad relationship with kids Take care of your children and make them your top priority. Everything else will fall into place.