Things You Must Consider Before Having Another Baby
This post is about should I have another baby
By Charlie Daily
1. Financial Situation
Although babies are precious, they are extremely expensive. From the first time you find out that you are pregnant, the costs of having a baby begins to rise. From prenatal visits to medication, the expenses adds up pretty quickly. Not to mention the necessities a child will need when they arrive. They will need food, clothes, car seat, crib, etc. You might ask yourself, “Should I have another baby?”
Before having another baby, it is imperative that you assess your financial situation. Like most parents you, your spouse, or both work to support your family. Child care is very expensive especially for a new born. If you are not where you want to be career wise, it is smart to wait until you reach your goal. Being financially stable alleviates some stress from having another baby.
2. Relationship Status
It does not matter if you are married or not, a relationship requires constant nourishment. Having another child can strengthen a relationship or be the final blow that ends it. Although a child brings so much joy and love to its family, it is not the glue to a relationship or marriage. Having another child when both people are not ready or willing can cause distress. If your partner is not ready to have another baby, the worse thing you can do is pressure them into doing so. It is possible for your spouse to give in to you only to make YOU happy, leaving them with a lingering scent of resentment.
If your spouse is pressuring you to have another baby, it is important that you express your feelings and concerns. No one should be under duress while making the decision of having another child. If you know that your relationship will not survive another addition, it is best to take preventative measures. Having another child will not magically make all of your problems go away. There is no magic cure for marital problems. If you and your spouse decide to stay together, do the work to resolve your issues. Do not put such a heavy burden on a child.
3. Support System
Every parent tries their very best to be everything that their child needs. However, sometimes that can be detrimental. Often times when a parent tries to do everything themselves, they spread themselves too thin, leading to an imminent burn out. Thats why it is important to have a sound support system before having another baby. A great support system allows others to help with the important duty of raising another child.
With most mothers, the first time they learn that they are pregnant, they begin to plan and learn as much information as possible. Although she can not learn everything, she tries to be well equipped with necessities and knowledge before her baby’s arrival. However, experience is the best teacher and a mother learns even more once she has to care for a child.
Having experienced people around such as parents and grandparents can teach you things that can not be found in a book. Having family around gives love, support, and compassion to you and your baby, which is something you will need an abundance of. If you plan on having another baby and you struggled with the first one due to no support, consider surrounding yourself with people who will help you. With multiple children you will need all the help you can get.
4. Physical & Mental Health
Although keeping up with children can be physically demanding, it can also take a toll on your mental health. Dealing with children requires a great deal of patience and sometimes that can be overwhelming. A child requires a lot of attention and this means that with giving your child all the care attention they need, you will find yourself sacrificing time that you need to mentally recuperate.
When a child is first burn, their sleeping schedule is sporadic. Although sleeping when your baby is sleeping is ideal, you will find yourself doing other things while you don’t have a bay attached to your hip. Nothing time to recuperate can lead to postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is a mental issue that all women can face after childbirth. it is very difficult to take care of your baby while battling postpartum depression. If you are experiencing any symptoms of postpartum depression, contact your OBGYN immediately.
If you have been diagnosed with postpartum depression before, you are more pronged to having it in other pregnancies. Before having another baby, it’s important that you are mentally sound before doing so. Having another baby while battling a mental illness will put you and your child under less than ideal circumstances.
Your physical health is just as important as your mental health when determining if you should have another baby. As a woman ages, she is more prone to having more complications during pregnancy. In fact, at age thirty five a woman is considered high risk during pregnancy no matter if she is completely healthy.
To decrease the odds of any complications during pregnancy, see your primary care physician and OBGYN to make sure that your body can handle another pregnancy. This will give you the best chances of conceiving a healthy baby and pregnancy.
5. Family Dynamics
Having another baby changes your family dynamics dramatically. Your youngest child is no longer the baby off the family and this can cause jealousy or sibling rivalry. It is important to consider your other child or children before having another baby.
Each child should feel special and given the attention they need. When another child is introduced into your family dynamics, it can cause a shift in how your older children view themselves in the family. Adding a new baby to the family can make your other children insecure about themselves. This can have a negative effect on your family if not addressed.
Although a newborn demands all your attention, make individual alone time for each of your children. Spending time with them will give them the opportunity to express themselves without being judged by others. If they are feeling left out, reassure them that just because there is a new baby, you still love them and they are appreciated.
It is also important to prove this to children. Make sure that you are catering to their needs just as much as you are with your newborn. One way to do this is allowing them to help you take take care of the baby. If you show and explain that a newborn can not do anything for themselves, it will help them understand why you give the baby more attention. This will also help them embrace their role as the older sibling. If your child is not interested in helping care for the baby, do not pressure them into doing so.
When a new baby is introduced to a family, they tend to get the most attention from relatives. It is important that you inform your family to not forget about your other children and that they are just as important. If your family comes and visit the new baby, make sure that they greet your older children first. This will let your child know that they still matter too. Having another child can be beneficial or detrimental to your children, so it’s important to get some insights from them before making a decision.